Kurt's Confessional
by mylisa777
Summary: Takes place after TBU. Kurt has so many things he wants to say to Blaine but doesn't know how. After several weeks he comes up with the idea to send songs to Blaine to explain how he feels. I know the summary isn't that great but hopefully the story is.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Hi everyone. So this is a new story that I will be writing. The chapters are not going to be overly long. This one is probably the shortest of them. I figure though that they will range anywhere from 1000-1500 words each. I need to get this out of my system before I can continue writing ODS. This story takes place after TBU. Enjoy**

…**..**

Kurt had been upset for several weeks. He felt like his whole world had fallen apart. No matter how much he tried to pretend that he was strong and that he wasn't going to let Blaine's betray get the best of him. He tried to pretend but that's all it really was, pretend. At night he would put his headphones into his Ipod touch so Rachel would not hear the sad depressing music that he listened to. He did not need to be told again that Blaine was not worth his tears. Kurt had still refused to talk to Blaine even though he had so much to say to him. One night while laying in bed he came up with a brilliant plan. He was going to let Blaine know exactly how he was feeling the only way that he could. Through song.

For the next two weeks, while Rachel was still at school, Kurt recorded a new song. The song he would choose depended on his mood for the day. Each day on his way to work, Kurt, would mail out his recorded song. He would have emailed them to Blaine but that felt to much like a conversation to him. He needed to do this his way.

…..

Almost three weeks with no contact from Kurt, a padded envelope arrived at the Anderson residence. It was address to Blaine with a return address of one Kurt Hummel. Blaine grabbed the envelope and ran up to his bedroom and slammed the door shut. Blaine had no idea what could be inside and it made him nervous but he had to know. He ripped open the package and inside was a cd. Blaine opened the jewel case and inserted the cd into his radio. Then he hit play and heard the sound he had been dying to hear, Kurt's voice.

"_I don't even know what I am doing this. I have been hurting so badly and it is all your fault. I can't talk to you because I am so mad at you but I still love you and I don't know why. Why can't I let you go? You did the worse thing that you could have possibly done. _

_I was laying here last night and I decided that the only way I can communicate with you is through songs. So I am going to send you an undetermined number of cd's with a different song on them. Just because I am sending you these it does not mean that I am ready to talk to you, because I'm not. Stop calling and texting me. When and if I am ever ready to actually talk to you again I will let you know. _

_This song is exactly how I am feeling at the moment. I feel like I am starting all over again. Goodbye Blaine."_

Kurt's voice ended and a song Blaine instantly recognized started

**Of all the things I've believed inI just want to get it over withTears form behind my eyesBut I do not cryCounting the days that pass me by**

Blaine had tears starting to form in his eyes. Was Kurt truly saying goodbye to him. Was this the end of them?**I've been searching deep down in my soulWords that I'm hearing are starting to get oldIt feels like I'm starting all over againThe last three years were just pretendAnd I said,[Chorus:]Goodbye to youGoodbye to everything I thought I knewYou were the one I lovedThe one thing that I tried to hold on toThe one thing that I tried to hold on to**

Blaine could not believe how stupid he had been and how he had let his hormones and loneliness ruin the best thing that had ever come along in his life. Kurt was his everything and he threw it away for a one night stand.

**I still get lost in your eyesAnd it seems that I can't live a day without youClosing my eyes and you chase my thoughts awayTo a place where I am blinded by the lightBut it's not rightGoodbye to youGoodbye to everything I thought I knewYou were the one I lovedThe one thing that I tried to hold on toThe one thing that I tried to hold on to**

Blaine was finding it harder to breath as the song continued. He wanted to turn off the cd and pretend that he wasn't hearing the song. Rewind time and stop the cd once Kurt stopped talking. Hell if he could rewind time he would go back to the moment Eli ever contacted him and he would block him. **And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same timeI want what's yours and I want what's mineI want youBut I'm not giving in this timeGoodbye to youGoodbye to everything I thought I knewYou were the one I lovedThe one thing that I tried to hold on toThe one thing that I tried to hold on to**

**Goodbye to youGoodbye to everything I thought I knewYou were the one I lovedThe one thing that I tried to hold on toThe one thing that I tried to hold on toAnd when the stars fallI will lie awakeYou're my shooting star**

When the song ended Blaine buried his head into his pillow and cried. He had been waiting to hear something from Kurt, anything really. But he was not prepared to hear goodbye. Was this it? Blaine knew he couldn't let things end this was so he grabbed his cell phone and tried to call Kurt one more time hoping that this would be the time that he answered his phone. The call went directly to voicemail.

"Hi Kurt, it's Blaine. I know that you asked me to not contact you but I had too. I just listened to your cd and it was great to hear your voice again. Please do not give up on me, on us. I love you and I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you if that's what it takes. Don't say goodbye. Please." Blaine's voice cracked with that last word so he hung up and let the tears continue to fall.

…**..**

**As of right now I have 8 songs planned out. If anyone can think of any songs that would fit in with the breakup song genera let me know. I will gladly give the song a listen and maybe use it. The next song that I am going to use I am the most excited about. Until next time.**

**Please Review**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- I am excited to write this story. I deleted two of the songs that I was going to use because they just did not fit into the story. Also the song I will going to do for this chapter was postponed to a later one because I just felt that it was not the right time. I am still looking for song ideas. Either leave them in a review or pm me. I am going to try to update everyday. I do not see this story going beyond 15 chapters.**

…

Once Blaine arrived home we went straight for the mail. His heart leapt when he saw that there was another package from Kurt. This time he knew what was inside but that didn't stop him from running up the starts and ripping it opened. He took out his cd, put it in the player and pressed play.

"_I don't know if these cd's are going to help me or not. It has only been one day so I guess it is still to early to know. I heard this song today while I was grocery shopping. I stopped right in the middle of the aisle and listened to the lyrics. It took everything I had not to break down and cry right then and there. _

_There is a lyric that says, who's sorry now. I know that you have told me that your sorry but are you really? Are you really truly sorry for breaking my heart. For treating us as though we were nothing. Am I every going to be able to trust you again Blaine. Just saying your name, like I had just done, makes my heart flip for joy but also break at the same time. _

_I would talk to Rachel and tell her how I am feeling but she would manage to somehow turn this into a her and Finn thing. I do not need to hear about other people's problems when I have my own to take care of. What do I do Blaine? What would any other normal person do. I feel like I should kick you to the curb, forget you exist and just get on with my life. However there is another part of me that wants to call you, tell you that I love you and that we can get through this. _

_People say once a cheater always a cheater. I don't know that you won't do this to me again if I gave you another chance. We still have 8 months before you would be coming to New York. You barely last a month without me there. How can I believe that you would last another 8 months. Hell for that matter, how do I know that your not still messing around. _

_This was suppose to clear my head but now it's just making it more jumbled so I am just going to end this now and play the song."_

Even though it broke Blaine's heart to hear all the self doubt in Kurt's voice it still made him happy to hear him speaking to him again even if it was through a recorded message.

**There was a time when we were down and was a place when we were starting let the bough breakwe let the heartache inWho's sorry now?**

That was an easy answer for Blaine. He was sorry. He was so very, truly sorry. He would do anything for a chance to prove how sorry he was.

**There was a world when we were standing still -And for a moment we were separated. And then you found himyou let the stranger in**

**Who's sorry now**

Blaine noticed how Kurt dubbed his voice in and changed her to him. It was true though. Blaine did let Eli in to their relationship. He was the one who continued the conversation with him and was the one who went over to his house. **who's sorry now?**

**Whatwhat kind of fool tears it apartLeaving me pain and sorrow -Losing' you nowWondering why. -Where will I be tomorrow?**

I got it I'm a fool. I will never stop knowing that I am a fool

**Forever more that's what we are**

**To be without each other**

**We'll be remembering when**

**There was a time when were down and out**

**There was a place when we were starting over**

**We let the bough break**

**We let the heartache in**

**Who's sorry now**

**Who's sorry now**

**What-what kind of fool**

**Tears it apart**

**Leaving me pain and sorrow**

**Losing you now**

**How can I win**

**Where will I be tomorrow**

**Was there a moment when I cut you downPlayed have I done**

**I only apologize for being as they sayThe last to know**

**It has to show when someone is in your eyes.**

Oh god. I hope he doesn't really believe that someone is in my eyes. I only have eyes for him. I will only ever have eyes for him. Kurt had been nothing but wonderful.

**What kind of fool tears it apart**

**Tears it apart**

**Leaving me in pain and sorrow**

**Losing you now**

**How can I win**

**Where will I be tomorrow**

**Forever more**

**that's what we are**

**To be without each other**

**We'll be remembering when.**

Blaine knew that he shouldn't call Kurt but he had too. He needed to let Kurt know what he was thinking. As usual his call was ignored and sent to voicemail. Blaine wondered if Kurt even listened to his messages or if he just ignored them as he did his calls.

"Hey Kurt, it's Blaine. Again. Honey I love you so much and I only ever have eyes for you. Please believe me when I say that there is no one else for me but you. Your right though, I did let the stranger in and I am incredibly sorry. I know that I sound like a broken record telling you how sorry I am but it's true. It will always be true, just as my love for you. God I love you so much. I'll leave you alone now."

Blaine hung up and laid on his bed letting all the recent events run through his mind. He knew he was a loser and deserved to be alone and miserable for the rest of his life.

…

**Thank you to everyone that read the first chapter and continue to read it. **

**The song from the first chapter was Goodbye to you by Michelle Branch. The song in this chapter was What kind of fool from Glee presents the Warblers.**

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	3. Chapter 3

It was finally Friday and Blaine was dreading the weekend. He spent the weekend doing nothing by laying in bed, listening to sad songs and replaying every moment of he and Kurt's relationship. It's not that school was any better but at least he had other things to concentrate on besides his memories. Blaine grabbed his latest package from Kurt, ran up to his room and played it.

"_Hey Blaine. So this is the third song. I think that they may be helping me. I still miss you so badly but today I noticed that I finally was able to breath again. Whether it is because I am getting everything off my chest or finally talking to you, sort of, again. I'm not sure but it is helping. _

_One of my coworkers commented on how I seemed a little different today. Who knows, maybe I will be able to figure out what is going on with us or be able to get over you. On the subway home today Candles started to play and it brought me back to when we sang it. Maybe that should have known that we wouldn't last. I mean really Blaine, you chose an abusive breakup song for us to song together as a couple. _

_If you really think about it our relationship was doomed from the start. You fell in love with me when I was singing a song to a dead bird. Had Pavarotti not died then you may never have seen how you truly felt about me. So really, dead birds and abusive relationships. Yup we were off to a great start weren't we. Maybe it would have been better for you to never realize your feelings for me. I was starting to get over my crush on you and you wouldn't have ended up transferring schools. You could have stayed at Dalton and then when Sebastian transferred you two could have had a nice healthy sex filled relationship and since he is in your grade you wouldn't have had to say goodbye to him. _

_I really hate thinking of you and Sebastian together but I really think he may have been the best choice. There really is no way to know though is there. Oh well, I am going to go. Rachel should be home in a few and I want to finish this before she does. I guess this is goodbye until next time."_

**The power lines went outAnd I am all aloneBut I don't really care at allNot answering my phoneAll the games you playedThe promises you madeCouldn't finish what you startedOnly darkness still remainsLost sightCouldn't seeWhen it was you and meBlow the candles outLooks like a solo tonightI'm beginning to see the lightBlow the candles outLooks like a solo tonightBut I think I'll be alrightBeen black and blue beforeThere's no need to explainI am not the jaded kindPlayback's such a wasteYou're invisibleInvisible to meMy wish is coming trueErase the memory of your faceLost sightCouldn't seeWhen it was you and meBlow the candles outLooks like a solo tonightI'm beginning to see the lightBlow the candles outLooks like a solo tonightBut I think I'll be alrightOne dayYou will wake upWith nothing but your sorriesAnd somedayYou will get backEverything you gave meBlow the candles outLooks like a solo tonightI'm beginning to see the lightBlow the candles out (The candles out)Looks like a solo tonight (Solo tonight)But I think I'll be alright**

Blaine listened to the whole song and was lost in thought. Kurt had used there version to record. He could see them both on stage in front of everyone at regional's. He remembered thinking how beautiful Kurt looked, how full of confidence he was.

Who knows maybe Kurt was right. Maybe they were doomed from the being. Why did he choose that song for them to sing? He always did a top 40's song but he didn't do his usual back then. There were so many love song and duet songs that he could have chosen but he didn't. Maybe it was foreshadowing. Blaine pulled out his cell phone and called Kurt.

"Hey Kurt, it's me. I listened to the cd. I never thought about how Candles probably wasn't the best song to sing together as a couple or how I realized I wanted you after you sang a song to a dead bird. It sounds pretty weird when you think about it doesn't it? I wish that I could be with you right now and hold you, kiss you and just show you how much I love you.

Please don't ever think about how different things could have been or Sebastian being the better choice. You are it for me. I never liked Sebastian romantically. He was just a friend and nothing more. You will always be my choice. I am sorry for what I did and I would take it back if I could. Don't ever second guess our relationship. I hope that things are going well with Rachel and she isn't overwhelming you with her and Finn's breakup. I know he misses her. I envy him in a way. He at least knows where their relationship stands. You still won't talk to me and I still have no idea whether we are still dating or not. I love you Kurt. Always remember that."

Blaine hung up the phone and laid on his bed. Hopefully this weekend wouldn't be as hard at the other two had been. Blaine knew that he was falling deeper and deeper into depression. He felt like he was drowning and there was no way for him to get out. The only thing that was still keeping him above the surface was the hope that he and Kurt still had a chance.

…

**Thank you to all my readers. Thank you for all the alerts and favorites.**

sharion69

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Shirayuki Ishiyama

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**Reviews**

Shirayuki Ishiyama- Blaine is definitely getting that he made a mistake. I really think he needs to tell Kurt who Eli is but he won't. He is being a stubborn ass. Thank you for the first and so far only review on this story.

**I already have the second to last chapter written. Now I just need to write the chapters in between. Also, when this story is done there will be a sequel. After writing the second to last chapter and knowing exactly how I am going to end the story I figured that it will need a sequel. Thank you all for reading.**

**Song used- Candles as sang by Kurt and Blaine**

**Please Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

"_Hey Blaine" _Kurt's voice said as it came out of his speakers.

"_I know this next song you will recognize since it is you singing it. I was thinking about how you accused me of cheating on you when I was texting Chandler. You were so angry with me and you told me that if I was unhappy to talk to you. Not to cheat on you but that's what you did to me. You could have talked to me and I would have listened. Sure, I have been busy at work but I always had time for you if you needed it. _

_I love you Blaine. No matter how much I try to turn it off I can't. I want to not want you as much as I do. I want to be able to sleep peacefully and not spend the night tossing and turning with images and thoughts of you running through my head. I want to be able to wallow in self pity for a day and then just shut myself down and fell nothing towards you at all. I wish I didn't miss the way that you use to hold me and cuddle with me. I wish that I…I don't know. I just wish that all the hurt and pain would stop. _

_I told you yesterday that I was getting better and I am. I actually was able to eat a whole meal today and Chase, a guy I work with, told me that my cheeks have a little more color in them today."_

"_Kurt, I'm home."_ Blaine heard Rachel yell in the background.

"_Gotta go." _Blaine heard the talk click off and then click back on.

"_Sorry about that, I'm back. Rachel came home a little early. She's out with Brody now. He has been helping her with her dance moves so her teacher will get off her back. Well my train of thought is gone from earlier so I will just get on with the song. I'll talk to you a little later. Bye Blaine."_

Once the song started Blaine knew he should have expected it.

**Friday night you and your boys went out to eatThen they hung outBut you came home around three, yes you didIf six of y'all went outThen four of you were really cheap'Cause only two of you had dinnerI found your credit card receipt**

Blaine remembers how he felt when he was singing this song to Kurt. He was so anger that Kurt had cheated and he was debating on whether he and Kurt could make it past the cheating. Sure, it was all just over text but it still hurt Blaine._**[Blaine with New Directions:]**_**It's not right, but it's okayI'm gonna make it anywayPack your bags, up and leaveDon't you dare come running back to meIt's not right, but it's okayI'm gonna make it anywayClose the door behind youLeave your keyI'd rather be aloneThan unhappyUh uh uh yeah uh**

How could he have cheated on Kurt when he knew how it felt. Blaine knew what he was doing was wrong but he still did it. He still went to Eli's house and had sex with him. _**[Blaine:]**_**I'll pack your bagsSo you can leave town for a week, yes I amThe phone ringsAnd then you look at meYou said it was one of your friendsDown on 54th Street, boySo why did 2-1-3Show up on your caller ID?**

Kurt said that he would have been there for me if I had needed him but he wasn't. He was not there for me when I needed him. Had he just said that he loved me back that day then it never would have happened. Why am I the bad guy in all of this. Why doesn't Kurt see what he did wrong. _**[Blaine with New Directions:]**_**It's not right, but it's okayI'm gonna make it anywayPack your bags, up and leaveDon't you dare come running back to meIt's not right, but it's okayI'm gonna make it anywayClose the door behind youLeave your keyI'd rather be aloneThan unhappy**

Ah, who was he kidding. It wasn't Kurt's fault. He was at work and the phones were ringing off the hook. Gosh. I really am an asshole. How could I have done that. I really do not deserve to have him back. I should just do the right thing and let him go. That would be the only fair thing to do but I am selfish so I'm not going to do that._**[New Directions Girls (Blaine):]**_**I have been through all of this before(I've been through all this before)So how would you think(Don't think about, don't think about it)That I could stand around and take some more?(Get goin', get goin')Things are gonna change(Things are goin' to change baby)'Cos I don't wanna be a fool anymore(You don't stand no chance boy)That's why you have to leave(I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahhh)So don't turn around to see my face(Don't turn around)**_**[Blaine with New Directions:]**_**There's no more tears left hereFor you to see**_**[Blaine:]**_**Was it really worth you going out like that, tell meWas it really worth you going out like thatSee, I'm moving onAnd I refuse to turn backSee all of this timeI thought I had somebody down for meIt turns out**_**[New Directions:]**_**You were making a fool of meUh uh uh yeah uh**_**[New Directions (Blaine):]**_**It's not right, but it's okay(It's not right, it's okay)I'm gonna make it anyway(I'm gonna, I'm gonna, yeahhh)Pack your bags, up and leave(Close the door and leave your keys)Don't you dare come running back to me(I'd rather be alone than unhappy)It's not right, but it's okay(It's not right, it's okay baby)I'm gonna make it anyway(I can pay my own rent)Close the door behind you(Pay my light bills)Leave your key(Take care my business)I'd rather be alone(Oh, oh)Than unhappy(Woah Ohhh)**

The song ended and Blaine was yet again in tears. He was tired of crying. He did not want to cry anymore but he knew that he deserved to be unhappy. He didn't deserve to live anymore, not when he could cause so much pain to the person that he loved. Blaine was happy that the cd's were helping Kurt get better but with everyone that came Blaine, was feeling worse. How could he treat the love of his life like garbage. Blaine suddenly got off of his bed, ran to the bathroom and threw up. He really was a worthless piece of shit. Blaine foregoed his usual call to Kurt's voicemail. It hurt to much to move off of the bathroom floor.

…**..**

**A/N- Okay. So some of Kurt's speech was what I was thinking. I have been dating this guy for 2 months and he told me that he wasn't feeling good on Saturday and couldn't come over. Then, later that night he was tagged in a facebook post out at the bar with 2 girls. I wrote "have fun" and then he deleted me from his facebook. I wallowed in self pity the next day and now I am over him. What an ass. **

**Anyways. Thank you again to everyone that reads my story.**

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**REVIEWS**

**Shirayuki Ishiyama**- Thank you for the kid words and the song suggestion. I will listen to it tomorrow and see if I can work with it. If I can use it then there will be three more chapters until the sequel. I am sure that I will be able to. I wish I had more songs to use and extend it a little bit longer.

**Naynaylopez- **I don't know why but I just love your name. I loved it when I saw it on my ODS story as well. I am glad you like my writing so much.

**Again, thank you everyone. I will be updating ODS before the next episode of Glee airs. I just really needed to get this story out there. I am healing from TBU episode finally. **

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Sorry for the delay in the story. Things have been crazy. With the storm that is suppose to hit us tomorrow I think that I will have plenty of time to write the next chapter. If I do not get anymore song suggestions then there will be 3 more chapters before the sequel. **

…

Blaine hated Sundays. Sundays brought no mail and no mail meant no new cd's from Kurt. Blaine replayed all of the ones he had received so far over and over again. He thought about how heavenly Kurt's voice sounded and how he wished that Kurt would forgive him and that they could go back to being one. He did not know who he was without Kurt. He needed Kurt to feel complete. Blaine laid in bed and thought of different ways that he could get Kurt back but he could not come up with any good logical ideas. He did not think that Kurt would appreciate being kidnapped and locked in Blaine's basement. Blaine did plan the kidnapping out in his head but he knew he would never go through with it. That was just sick and twisted. Sure Blaine was tethering in the sane/insane line but he didn't think he would ever be insane enough to do that.

Monday came and there was still no package. Blaine started to think that maybe Kurt was no longer going to send them. That thought led to Blaine in his bed crying his eyes out. Blaine was falling off the deep end quickly. He started to think that maybe if he killed Eli then Kurt would come back to him because if there was no Eli in the world then Kurt would not have to worry about feeling inferior to him. Kurt would not have to worry about Blaine cheating in him again. Blaine started to plan the murder out in his head and once he started to think up all the different scenarios that could trace it back to him, Blaine knew that he has truly lost all sanity that he had.

Tuesday when Blaine arrived home from school he saw the package that he had been hoping to see. He breathed a sigh of relief in knowing that Kurt was still thinking of him and that Kurt still wanted to talk to him. He ran to his room and played the latest cd.

"_I did not plan on recording another message until tomorrow but I felt like I had to do one right now. I just woke up from the most wonderful dream and if I had my wish I never would have woken up from it. It felt so real Blaine. I was so happy, happier than I have been in a long time._

_In my dream we were married. We lived in New York together and had two of the most beautiful children in the world. Our little girl had my eyes but your curly hair. Our son had your honey hazel eyes and my hair color. Some how they were able to take both of our dna and combine them so both our kids had part of us in them. _

_I saw everything Blaine. I saw what our life was suppose to be like. What it would have been like had you not thrown it all away for a one night stand. I want that life Blaine. I want the husband and the kids. I want all the happiness in the world that I deserve. You were suppose to be all that for me. Hell you were all that for me. Who knows, maybe we will get there again some day. Maybe this was all destined to happen. Maybe you and I are suppose to find new people. _

_I don't know what the future will hold. All I know is that I wish that I had been able to stay asleep and never wake up. Hell I would have been happy being in a coma if this was what I was able to dream of the whole time. Well it is almost 3 in the morning. I need to try and go back to sleep. I will talk to you later. If the following song just change all the she's and stuff to he's. There may have been a better song but this was all I could come up with at this time in the morning. Goodnight Blaine."_

**Each day through my window I watch her as she passes by "**

**"I say to myself, "You're such a lucky guy" **

**To have a girl like her is truly a dream come true**

**Out of all of the fellas in the world she belongs to me**

Blaine knew how lucky he was that Kurt had belonged to him or still did. He still wasn't sure. Kurt truly was his dream come true.

**But it was just my imagination**

**Running away with me**

**It was just my imagination**

**Running away with meSoon we'll be married and raise a family**

**A cozy little home out in the country with two children, maybe three**

**I tell you, I can visualize it all**

**This couldn't be a dream for too real it all seems **

Blaine could see the children that Kurt had talked about because he had dreamed of them as well. He wanted it to be real as well. Blaine knew that he and Kurt would be together and have the perfect life somehow, someway. There was no other option that Blaine could foresee.

**But it was just my imagination, once again**

**Running away with me **

**I tell you it was just my imagination**

**Running away with meEvery night, on my knees I pray**

**"Dear Lord, hear my plea**

**Don't ever let another take her love from me**

**Or I will surely die"**

Blaine knew exactly what the song was saying. If anyone took Kurt away from him he would die. Kurt was his lifeline and he needed Kurt to live. Blaine knew that Kurt did not believe in God or church or anything like that but since Blaine had cheated on Kurt, Blaine had been praying to any and every entity that Kurt will forgive him and that they would have their happily ever after.

**Ooh, her love is heavenly**

**When her arms enfold me**

**I hear a tender rhapsody **

**But in reality, she doesn't even know meJust my imagination, once again**

**Running away with me**

**Oh, I tell you it was just my imagination**

**Running away with meI never met her but I can't forget her**

**Just my imagination**

**Running away with me**

**Just my imagination**

**Running away with me**

As always by the end of the song Blaine was reduced to tears. He knew that he couldn't still be crying but he couldn't help it. This whole thing with Kurt was tearing him apart. Maybe if he had a definitive answer on where they stood things would be easier but he didn't. Blaine knew he had to call Kurt.

"Hey Kurt," Blaine sobbed "I just wanted to tell you that I can see all of it too and it could still be a reality. If you would just forgive me then you and I could be together forever. I can promise you that I will never, ever cheat on you again and I am so sorry. I know I spend a lot of time apologizing but I just want to make sure that you know how much I mean it. Please call me and talk to me. Please let me know where we stand. Please just take me back. I can't live without you. I need you. Please…just please." Blaine hung up the whole because he couldn't go on talking anymore. He wasn't even sure if Kurt would be able to understand the last few words because he was blubbering by that point.

Blaine went and laid on his bed and curled into a ball. He didn't know what else to do bur he did no that nothing was helping anymore. Blaine stood up and crept downstairs to his fathers study. His parents were never home anyways so he didn't have to worry about being caught. He went to his fathers liquor and pulled out a bottle. He didn't even care what it was. Blaine twisted off the top and chugged it. If he couldn't wish the pain away and couldn't cry the pain away then maybe drinking the pain away would work.

…

**So how do you all like the story so far. So everyone is thinking that this storm is going to hit us hard. I think that the storm is going to be nothing. Guess we will see.**

**Thank you to all my readers and all my new followers and favorites.**

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**Reviews/PM**

Lizziemarie0529- I have been in both places too. The only time that I cheated on a boyfriend I had a friend drive me to his house so I could confess. I felt that it was something that needed to be done in person. And as we all know from my last authors note, I was just cheated on.

Naynaylopez (PM)- It really is awesome. Thank you so much for all of your kind words. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Again thank you to everyone that has been reading this story and my other story OBS. **

**The last song used was **

**It's not right but it's okay- Glee Cast**

**This chapters song**

**Just my imagination- The Temptations**

**Please Review (they are a drug to me)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- There is a trigger in this chapter. I don't want to give the story away so if there is a trigger that could set you off then do not read this chapter and wait until the next one. Is this chapter canon Kurt, probably not but as I am sure most of us know, when a relationship ends and your heart is broken, a person goes through so many emotions and anger is one of them. You lash out and lashing out is an important part in the healing process. So sit back and enjoy. This is the song that I could not wait to use.**

…

Another few days had gone by without a package from Kurt so Blaine spent those days drunk. He liked the feel of the alcohol burning his throat. He loved how it helped to numb the pain from his heartache. He was going to have to find someone to buy him more soon though because he had gone through quite a bit of his dads. Blaine would have asked Puck if he wasn't in California.

Finally one day four a package arrived. Blaine's heart soared with happiness. Each package meant that Kurt was still thinking about him. Blaine grab the envelop and was about to go up the stairs when he noticed that there was another package as well. On it was written 'DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOU LISTEN TO FIRST PACKAGE.' Blaine shrugged, grabbed the other one and headed to his room.

"_I have had a crappy day and of course it got me thinking about you. I have so much to say to you. I am pissed the fuck off at you. How could you be such a selfish bastard to just throw everything away for a fucking hookup. I'm so sorry that I was busy with my job that I couldn't answer every call or every text that you sent me. I'm so sorry that I was trying to make a career that I couldn't have phone sex with you. It doesn't matter though because you just found yourself another warm body to fill your bed._

_I honestly and truly hope that it was worth it Blaine, that he was worth it. Every time I contemplate the thought of maybe forgiving you the imagines of you and this still nameless guy pop in my head. I see you two fucking in a hotel room or in your bed where we made love for the first time. I thought that I meant something to you. I didn't realize that I was just a place holder to you. I was just someone to fuck until the next thing came along. _

_I fucking forgave you for what you did with Sebastian and please do not tell me it was nothing. He was rude and disrespectful to me and you let him be. You let him undress you with his eyes and said nothing about it. I am honestly not even convinced that everything was innocent between you two. I bet you dropped to your knees and sucked him off the first time you met. God I hate you. I hate everything about you. I wish that you would just go away and never darken my door step again._

_I should have know that night at Scandals when you tried to force yourself upon me that this was all going to end badly. That should have been a warning for me that you were nothing but a horn dog. Hell Rachel's party should have told me that. You didn't care if you were making out with a man or woman as long as you were getting some action. _

_Was he better than me. Was his dick everything you wanted. I bet he fucked you good and hard and had you screaming his name. I bet that the thought of me never crossed your mind. Hell for all I know he is in your bed right now listening to this cd and you two are laughing your asses off at it. Either that or your fucking like bunnies. _

_When was it exactly that you thought about me. It obviously wasn't when you were making the plans to hook up or while you were doing it. Did you regret it right after you came or was it after you left his warm body. _

_Oh and now that I am thinking, what an asshole are you. You showed up at my apartment, made me think that you missed me and wanted to surprise me. You let me kiss you, on the mouth that you probably used to suck him off, then you went out with us and sang me our song. Teenage Dreams is forever ruined for me now. Thanks a lot. Thanks for ruining everything that we had. Thank you for breaking my heart and destroying all hope in love that I had. You truly are an asshole and a no good lying piece of shit and I hate you. I hate you Blaine Anderson and I hope I never hear from your lying, cheating ass again. Fuck off."_

Blaine had to turn the cd off for a while. He was scared to hear the song that was going to follow Kurt's message. He knew what he did was wrong. How was he ever going to prove to Kurt how sorry he was. What he did was a mistake and he knew it. Reluctantly he pressed play and continued the cd.

**Whoa oh ohOoh hoohNo No NoSee, I don't know why I liked you so muchI gave you all, of my trustI told you, I loved you, now that's all down the drainYou put me through pain, I wanna let you know how I feelFuck what I said it don't mean shit nowFuck the presents might as well throw 'em outFuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back**

That brought Blaine back to the other package, that Kurt had sent and it started to make him wonder what was in it. There was only one thing that Kurt could give him that would truly let him know that everything was over.**Fuck what I said it don't mean shit nowFuck the presents might as well throw 'em outFuck all those kisses they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I don't want you backYou thought, you couldKeep this shit from me, yeahYou burnt bitch, I heard the storyYou played me, you even gave him headNow you asking for me backYou just another act, look elsewhereCause you done with me**

Blaine was drawn back to the images of him bobbing up and down on Eli's penis. How could he ask Kurt to forgive him and take him back after he did that. Sure, Blaine had used so much mouth wash afterwards to get the taste of Eli's dick out of his mouth but it didn't help. He could still taste it. **Fuck what I said it don't mean shit nowFuck the presents might as well throw em outFuck all those kisses they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I don't want you backFuck what I said it don't mean shit nowFuck the presents might as well throw em outFuck all those kisses they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I don't want you backOh ohUh huh yeahOh ohUh huh yeahOh ohUh huh yeahOh ohUh huh yeahYou questioned, did I careYou could ask anyone, I even saidYou were my great oneNow it's, over, but I do admit I'm hurts real bad, I can't sweat that, cause I loved a hoe**

Blaine agreed with the song. He was a dirty filthy hoe who did not deserve anyone. He knew he did not have any right to expect anyone to love him anymore. At one time he was a good guy but not anymore. Now he was no better than a prostitute. **Fuck what I said it don't mean shit nowFuck the presents might as well throw 'em outFuck all those kisses they didn't mean jackFuck you, you hoe, I don't want you backOh ohUh huh yeahOh ohUh huh yeahOh ohUh huh yeahOh ohUh huh yeah**

When the song ended Blaine picked up the other package with shaky hands. He opened it slowly and dumped the contents out on his bed. He looked down and there was another cd accompanied by a box he knew all too well. He played the second cd.

" _I figured that it is time to return this to you. Maybe you can give it to your other boyfriend because all the promises you made with it mean nothing now. Whenever I look at it all I see are the empty promises that you made. Please stop calling me and please forget I ever existed because that is what I am going to do with you."_

Blaine picked up the box, opened it and stared down at the promise ring he had given to Kurt for Christmas. Blaine couldn't handle this. As long as Kurt kept the ring than that meant there was still a chance for them. What hope did he have anymore. Blaine stood up and ran to the bathroom where he emptied the contents from his lunch into the toilet bowl. After he was finished, he stood up, wiped his mouth off and did the only thing left that he could think of. He grabbed a razor off of the sink, held it to his wrist and pushed down. He did not want to live in a world where Kurt did not love him and where Kurt was not his.

…

**A/N- Dun dun dun…. The song used is 'I don't want you back' by Eamon. I love this song and when my ex and I broke up 10 years ago, this song had come out. There is another song that came out at the same time (I can't say what it is yet because it's the song I am using for the last chapter) and I always felt like it was my song to him and this was his song to me. He swore I cheated on him and it took 7 years for my to prove my innocents to him, mainly because he refused to talk to me. **

**I hope that you all enjoyed it. Thank you to all my new followers and to everyone who continues to read this story. It means so much to me. We are now either 2 or 3 chapters away from the sequel. This story is almost a wrap. I hope to have it done by next week.**

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**Sharion69**- I agree 100%.

**Lucy641**- I think it's hard to say whether it is canon Kurt or not. When someone is truly heart broken they don't always do what might be normal for them. When my ex and I broke up 10 years ago I basically became an alcoholic. I spent 5 nights a week at the bar because I didn't care anymore. I also use to write him letters that I never sent, I still have them to this day. This chapter though was definitely not canon Kurt.

**Shirayuki Ishiyama**- Blaine is getting more than desperate. He is losing his damn mind. Help will be on the way for him, have no fear.

**Whovian2.0**- I hope things are resolved on the show quickly too even though I have read the spoilers. I love Klaine and I need them to be together because if fictional characters can't make it then what chance do real couples have. We are suppose to have fictional couples to look up too. Where do you live that you are only on the second episode?

**Again, thank you everyone. I am hoping that I do not lose power and am able to write the next chapter today so I can post it tomorrow. **

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine tried to do as Kurt ask and just let him go but he couldn't. Instead he spent the next week and a half drunk and cutting his arm up. His fellow glee club members noticed that he was withdrawing into himself but they did not know what to do to help. They knew that Blaine cheated on Kurt and the old members of new directions were mad at him for it but they also were Blaine's friend as well and did not want to see him hurting the way that he was.

Blaine didn't know but Finn had called Kurt and informed him of Blaine's spiral downfall. Kurt did not want Blaine to do this to himself but he was still angry and upset. Kurt had not intended to contact Blaine anymore but he felt responsible because he knew that the last recording he had sent was harsh.

That was why two weeks later, when Blaine arrived home, there was a new package from Kurt. Blaine had nothing else to lose so he went and played the latest cd, preparing himself for some more harsh reality of how much of a failure and slut he was.

"_Finn called me and told me that you are falling apart, I know the last message I sent was a tad bit harsh. Okay it was really harsh but I was so upset and I wanted to make you hurt the way that you made me hurt. I have been falling apart over here Blaine. I need you and I want you but I can't let myself fall for you again. _

_Please take care of yourself and stop self hating yourself. I do not regret the time we spent together. I sent you that promise ring back because it is filled with empty promises as I said. Who knows if there will ever be a chance for you and I in the future. The only person that knows what the future holds is Time. Time will tell all. I don't have long. I am going to a company party tonight. I will talk to you later Blaine. Even though I am still extremely hurt by your actions I will always be here for you. I may not answer my phone for you but I do listen to your messages. _

_Again, take care and know that no matter what I will always carry you in my heart."_

Blaine cried when he hear that. He knew that he was losing himself and his mind but without Kurt he just did not care. Hearing Kurt say that he still loved him and that he was in his heart made him fill with hope again.

Kurt's latest song started.

**Give me one reason to stay here**

**And I'll turn right back around**

**Give me one reason to stay here**

**And I'll turn right back around**

**Because I don't want leave you lonely**

**But you got to make me change my mind**

Kurt wanted one reason from Blaine to stay. Just one reason that was not "I love you". With all the broken promises and Blaine's I love you not meaning much he needed something. Blaine didn't know what the one reason was that he could give him.

**Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine**

**But you know that I called you, I called too many times**

**You can call me baby, you can call me anytime**

**But you got to call me**

Kurt told Blaine that he could call him and Blaine knew that Kurt meant it. Kurt was one of the most honest and truthful people that Blaine ever knew and he was starting to really see that he did not deserve Kurt.

**Give me one reason to stay here**

**And I'll turn right back around**

**Give me one reason to stay here**

**And I'll turn right back around**

**Because I don't want leave you lonely**

**But you got to make me change my mind**

Blaine needed to come up with one reason and no matter how much he racked his brain he couldn't come up with one that Kurt hadn't already heard from him.

**I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life**

**I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life**

**I just want someone to hold me and right me through the night**

Blaine wished that he had held Kurt the last night that they were together and never let go. Instead he laid on the opposite side of the bed while Kurt cried through the night. Hat kind of person did that. Kurt had been his best friend to start. Blaine was a lousy boyfriend and best friend.

**This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need**

**This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need**

**But I'm too old to go chasing around**

**Wasting my precious energy**

Kurt always gave Blaine what he needed. Blaine was just selfish kept wanting more and more. He knew that Kurt had left because he had told him too. Blaine was the one that told Kurt he needed to get out of Lima and then when Kurt was gone, Blaine wished he had made him stay.

**Give me one reason to stay here**

**And I'll turn right back around**

**Give me one reason to stay here**

**And I'll turn right back around**

**But I don't want leave you lonely**

**But you got to make me change my mind**

**Baby just give me one reason, Give me just one reason why**

**Baby just give me one reason, Give me just one reason why**

**Because I told you that I love you**

**And there ain't no more to say**

The song ended and Blaine sat one his bed for once, not crying, drinking or cutting. He was so deep in thought trying to figure out what the one reason was that he was going to give to Kurt. After 45 minutes of sitting there he came up with his answer. Blaine grabbed his cell phone and called Kurt's voicemail.

"I have one reason and that is because I need you. I need you to keep my grounded, I need you to keep my sanity. I need you to just be with me. With that said, I know that it is selfish and I have hurt you so badly. I have been on a downward spiral, as Finn has told you. I don't have you to save my life anymore and it is killing me knowing that it is my fault that you are not here with me anymore. I was weak and selfish and just an asshole.

I knew that you were busy but I couldn't accept not having all of your time. I know that I do not have the right to your time anymore so I am releasing you. I want you to be happy Kurt and I want you to be everything that you are going to be. You can't hold on to someone who has done you wrong the way that I have. My new reason for you to stay is friendship. We were friends before and I am hoping that if I can't have you as a boyfriend then maybe I can have you as a friend.

I love you Kurt. I love you more than I love myself but I can not be selfish with you anymore. I need to leave you be. Go out and enjoy the world Kurt. Go achieve greatness and take the world by storm. While you are doing that, know that I will be in your corner. Please don't ever forget me. I will always, always love you. I told you before that you are the love of my life and I meant it."

Blaine hung up the phone and started to cry. That had been one of the hardest things he ever had to do in his life.

…

**A/N- There are two songs left before the sequel. The song used was Give me on reason by Tracy Chapman. I was at my clients house and was playing the cd when I made the decision to use it. **

**I always list my new followers and I will continue to do that but there is one follower who I will not list because of their user name. I do not like the word so if you are a real person then I am sorry but I can not put your name in here. **

**ALERTS**

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**REVIEWS**

**Whovian2.0**- Blaine needs to fall off the deep end. I'm sorry. It breaks my heart to but good times are coming soon. Thanks for your review.

**Kklever- **Don't worry. I am not going to let Blaine die. Thank you for your review

**As always, thank you to all of you. I am sorry for the delay in uploading this chapter but I had no internet. I never lost power during the storm but I did lose my internet but now it is back and so am I.**

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- The song used in this chapter was recommended by****Shirayuki Ishiyama****. There is one more chapter after this. **

…

Blaine arrived home a week after he sent Kurt the last voicemail and saw that Kurt had sent him another package. Before Blaine played the cd that was inside he went and grabbed a drink. He had been trying to not drink and cut as much but some days were better than others.

He had released Kurt and set him free. Blaine knew that he couldn't hold onto something that wasn't really his anymore no matter how badly he wanted too. Blaine had thought that it would be Klaine forever but he was sadly mistaken. He knew it was his fault and he was trying to come to terms with that the best that he could. Once Blaine was starting to feel a little tipsy he went to his room.

"_Blaine, Hi. Wow this is hard. This is probably the hardest message I have had to send to you. I listened to your voicemail and I would love to be friends with you. We were friends to start with so let's see how that goes now. _

_I was surprised when I listened to your message and heard that you were letting me go. I am not going to lie, it hurt a little. I was hoping for something to keep holding on but instead you let me go. I know that is it probably for the best and we both need to start moving on with our lives. This really is for the best though because I do not trust you anymore and that hurts me to say. You were always the one person that I could trust, the one person that I could put my faith in. _

_Please do not think that I am heartless. Please do not think that I am all better because I'm really not. I am getting better every day and I am able to call upon that strength but there are days that I still fall apart. I love you Blaine. I love you do much that it hurts but as I said I no longer trust you. I guess the only thing that I have left to say right now is thank you for releasing me. Thank you for finally seeing what I think we both knew was going to happen. We will get through this and we will meet the person who we were truly meant for. Don't give up hope Blaine. _

_I will call you someday but for right now I am still putting myself back together. I just need time. Please take care of yourself and know that no matter what, there will always be a place in my heart for you."_

Blaine stopped the cd for a moment. He did not know what to make of Kurt's message. On one hand Kurt is telling Blaine that he still loves him but on the other hand he is telling him that he is glad to be free of him. Blaine just hoped that whatever song Kurt chose would help sort the message out. Blaine listened intently to the song.

**Woke up late today  
And I still felt the sting of the pain  
But I brushed my teeth anyway  
Got dressed through the mess  
And put a smile on my face  
I got a little bit stronger**

Riding in the car to work  
And I'm trying to ignore the hurt  
So I turned on the radio  
Stupid song made me think of you  
I listened to it for a minute  
But then I changed it  
And I'm getting a little bit stronger  
Just a little bit stronger

I'm done hoping that we can work it out  
I'm done with how it feels  
Spinning my wheels  
And letting you drag my heart around  
And I'm done thinking you could ever change  
I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days  
I get a little bit stronger  
I get a little bit stronger

It doesn't happen overnight  
Then you turn around and months gone by  
And you realize you haven't cried  
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer  
I'm busy getting stronger

I'm done hoping that we can work it out  
I'm done with how it feels  
Spinning my wheels  
And letting you drag my heart around  
And I'm done thinking that you could ever change  
I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days  
I get a little bit stronger  
Just a little bit stronger

Getting along without you, baby  
I'm better off without you, baby  
How does it feel without me, baby?  
I'm getting stronger without you, baby

I'm done hoping that we can work it out  
I'm done with how it feels  
Spinning my wheels  
And letting you drag my heart around  
And I'm done thinking that you could ever change  
I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days  
I get a little bit stronger  
Just a little bit stronger

I get a little bit stronger  
Just a little bit stronger  
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger

A little bit stronger

Blaine had cleared his mind through the song and when it ended all these thoughts ran into his head. It really and truly was over between them. He had hoped that by releasing Kurt he would come back to him. He would see Blaine selfless act and see that Blaine must truly love him. As the saying goes 'if you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be'. That was what Blaine thought would happen.

Blaine really could not handle this right now. It had been a few days since he had cut but he needed to feel numb. He needed to not be able to think or feel anymore. He had nothing else to live for now that Kurt was really gone.

…

**A/N- I am blown away by the reviews last chapter. I am so sorry to everyone that I made cry. So my laptop broke on my right after I posted the last chapter. I was able to buy a new laptop quickly so here is your new chapter. The song used is 'A little bit stronger' by Leighton Meester. So, one more chapter to go before the sequel, who's excited? After I complete the next chapter I will be finishing Operation: Destroy Sebastian, before I start the sequel. **

**ALERTS/FAVORITES**

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**REVIEWS**

**sharion69**- I hear you. Klaine will always be endgame for me as well. If I cannot have Klaine than I like Kurtbastian.

**Whovian2.0- **I really hope they get back together on the show as well. They are my ultimate favorite tv couple ever and that's saying a lot since I use to be a Buffy/spike fan. I still am but Klaine has surpassed them.

**LilLizzie94**- Thank you. I am sorry that I broke your heart. I hope that it will be whole again soon. I do not guarantee that it will be together for awhile but it will hopefully be back together soon.

**ShootingFirework-** I am sorry that I made you cry. It seems I am apologizing a lot after that last chapter.

**flacka94**- I am glad that you found me. I have another story that I have been writing for a year but I could not continue because TBU episode broke my heart and I needed to get this story out before I could continue. I hope that this chapter does not disappoint.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N- Here it is, the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it. 2 updates in one day is unheard of when it comes to me but I wanted to get this out there for you guys. You all have been so wonderful.**

…**..**

It had been a rough Christmas. Kurt and Blaine were suppose to spend many together but they still had not talked. Blaine was giving Kurt his space. He hoped that the new year would bring new things, or old things renewed. Kurt had sent Blaine a generic Christmas card but that was it. Blaine spent the day reminiscing about their last two holidays together.

Blaine could see he and Kurt in the common room dancing and singing to Baby its cold outside. He wanted to kiss Kurt so badly but he didn't. He had chickened out and then come Valentine's day, he had broke Kurt's heart for the first time. Their next Christmas holiday, Blaine gave Kurt a promise ring and he had meant every single promise that he made with it. Hell he still did.

New Years Eve arrived and so did another package. Blaine was surprised to see it. Kurt had said everything that he had to on the last cd. What else was there to say? There was only one way for Blaine to find out. Unfortunately the package asked that he not listen to it until New Years day. Blaine was impatient but he abided by Kurt's wishes.

That night Blaine tossed and turned but he would not listen to the cd until morning came. Finally, when Blaine opened his eyes the sun was shining through and that meant it was the new day and the new year. That also meant that he could now listen to the cd. He popped it into his cd played and heard Kurt's voice.

"_Hi Blaine. I know that I still have not called but I have been trying to get on with my life. We agreed in moving on and that is what I tried to do. I did something and I need to tell you about it. A few weeks ago I went out on a date with this guy that I work with. His name is Chase and he is such a good guy. We went out to dinner and then we took a romantic walk around Central Park. Afterwards he walked me to my door. I invited him in for a little while. We watched The Notebook and then he kissed me. I kissed him back but put a stop to it quickly. Sue it felt great to be in someone's arms again but I couldn't do it. _

_You may ask why I am telling you this and the answer is plain and simple. When he kissed me it did not feel right because it wasn't you. I apologized to him and then asked him to leave. I have spent almost these next two weeks crying in bed because even though we are not together my heart feels like it cheated on you for enjoying that kiss, as briefly as I did. I started to wonder if this is the way that it is always going to be. Am I always going to think of you when I kiss someone else? Am I always going to want that person to be you? Is it always going to feel like cheating? I came up with the answer that yes it will. And there is a reason for that. _

_I love you Blaine, you know I do. I will love you for the rest of my life. I need you to do me a favor. When you are done listening to this song please call me. I understand if you don't want to but I really hope that you do. There is something that I need to ask you."_

Kurt's message ended and the song started. Blaine smiled when he hear that it was Kurt singing the song.

**If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all**

I'll never know what the future brings  
But I know you're here with me now  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

Blaine had to blink away the tears. Was he really hearing this right now? He had only dreams that Kurt would come back and from the way that the song was sounding Kurt wanted him just as much as Blaine wanted Kurt.****

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away  
But I know that this much is true  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
I hope I love you all my life

Blaine's memory brought him back to the talk that they had about Kurt's version of The Notebook. He wanted to spend his life with Kurt and maybe they had to go through this to be stronger. Who knows?****

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right  
And though I can't be with you tonight  
You know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

The song ended and Blaine was overcome with emotions. He did not know what to do with this. He had started to accept his Kurtless life, not that he wanted it to be that way. Blaine did not hesitate. He picked up his cell phone and called Kurt. It started to ring and with every ring, Blaine's heart swelled with hope. Is hope was short lived when Kurt's voicemail picked up. Blaine hung the phone up. He knew that what he needed to say to Kurt was not something that you said to a voicemail.

Blaine was playing out the conversation he would have with Kurt in his head when there was a knock at his door. He was not expecting anyone. His parents were out of town, as usual and Cooper was in LA. The knock came again so Blaine went to answer the door. What he saw when he opened the door was something right out of a movie.

There on his doorstep was Kurt and he was on his knees holding a box in his hand. Blaine started crying so hard that he almost missed Kurt starting to talk.

"Blaine, I love you. You are the love of my life and everything that we have gone through happened for a reason. It took me a long while to see what that reason was. I know that you felt lost when I left for New York and you felt abandoned but I never really left you. How could I when you have my heart. I am not saying that cheating was the right thing to do and know that if you ever cheat on me again there will never be a second chance for us."

Kurt took a breath before he continued. "We have gone through so much hurt and drama in our relationship but it just makes us stronger. I know that there is no one else out there for me. You're it for me and I hope that I am it for you. So, with that being said, Blaine Devon Anderson, will you marry me?"

**A/N- That's it folks. That was the last chapter to this story. You have an option now. You can either stop reading here or you can read the sequel when it is posted, hopefully in a month. I really do need to finish my other story. When the sequel is posted I will update this story and let you all know. Thank you to everyone who has read this and to all my follows, favorites and reviewers. You all mean a lot to me.**

**The song used in this chapter was '****If your not the one- Daniel Bedingfield'. If you have never heard this song I recommend that you listen to it. **

**REVIEWS**

**Shirayuki Ishiyama**- Thank you so much. I am glad that you enjoyed it. You have been one of the people that have been with me from the first chapter. Thank you and I hope you will read the sequel.

**LilLizzie94**- In my other story I do a lot of cliff hangers. I hope you enjoyed the story and thank you for your review.

**I know it is the last chapter but PLEASE REVIEW**


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